2101
uhc_video
Boomer Esaison
Health.Inspired – UHC TV
Well, it’s good to see everyone here today and thank you. You get to do the eulogy for me. That was very nice. Thank you. For those of you that do live in the New York area and were happening to listen to the radio this morning with me and Craig, you know that I am on my way to the New York Mets opening game. They play the Atlanta Braves today and interestingly enough and we talk about healthcare and the inspiration to stay healthy and all that other stuff, I had to back out of the beautiful lunch you guys are serving today because I am going to be chowing down on hot dogs and beer in about two hours.
So, you are allowed to have one day off is the way that I look at it. But, it is great to be here with UHC TV and to be a part of something that I think is really something that is taken hold in our country and that is healthy living and making sure that we are paying attention to our health. Oddly enough for me as an NFL football player for 14 years, it was every day of my life that I had to stay healthy. That I had to make sure that I was ready for the season. That I was ready for the next game, the next practice, and it went on for years and years and years and years and years. You would think when you retire, “I’m going to slow down a little bit. I might get a little pudgy. It might be, you know, I am not going to be so active.”
Then, lo and behold, you have what happened to me and my wife and our family and that is you have child born with cystic fibrosis. Your whole life gets turned upside down. Now for me, when Gunnar was born in 1993, I had gotten traded from the Cincinnati Bengals to the New York Jets and the New York Jets are my home town team, so it was a blessing and it was a curse. In a sense, the blessing was that I was coming to the biggest market in the NFL. The curse was that I had a son who was born with cystic fibrosis but I could also utilize the platform that the city of New York gave me to raise the awareness level of cystic fibrosis and also raise the money that you heard we that we have raised. I have been involved now, it seems like for 20 years within the hospital system, within the insurance system, my own health, you know, and dealing with the Gunnar situation and watching him every single day. For those of you that don’t know about cystic fibrosis, it’s a real labor-intensive disease where every day a patient has to get up and take care of their lungs because that is the one aspect that can go south in a hurry. If they develop infections that we can’t cure with antibiotics, the next step is a lung transplant.
Now, when Gunnar was diagnosed in 1993, the average age was 19, or the median age was 19. I remember they told us back then that there were all these new things on the horizon but most importantly Gunnar would have to live a very healthy life. That he would eat right, that he would have to make sure that he got the right amount of sleep, and that you would have to be there with him every single day, being a partner to support everything that goes into keeping is lungs clean and also helping him digest his food, because they don’t digest their food properly. As we inched closer to his 19th birthday, you know, in the back of our minds as parents was. “Oh my god, is he going to make it? Is he not going to make it?” We never thought for one moment, honestly, that he wasn’t going to make it, we would take care of him and we would lay the foundation to a healthy lifestyle by not only teaching him how to keep himself healthy but by him watching us, as parents, keeping ourselves healthy. So, there was no smoking. There was very little drinking, if anything, in moderation. It was usually a couple glasses of wine at the end of the week or before dinner or something like that.
We were always active as parents. We always made sure that he was mainstreamed, in terms of him doing activity himself, whether it be basketball or ice hockey or football. I’ll never forget the day he came home and told my wife, in ninth grade, that he wanted to play football. My wife said, “You’re not going to play football.” Then my son told my wife, “Dad said I could.” Then I had to relive what it meant to play football all over again, trying to defend my statement to Gunnar that he could play football. The fact of the matter is, part of being healthy physically, is also being healthy mentally. Being part of team and being mainstreamed as a cystic fibrosis patient, I thought, was paramount to his physical health. To make sure that he felt like he wasn’t as different as a lot of people may see him. So, that was important to us.
The bigger picture of all of this was, as we were getting closer to 19, we knew he had an understanding, now, of what cystic fibrosis was all about. He could go online and read about all of the really bad stories about how many kids have died before their 13th birthday, how many kids realized that there were no lungs there for transplant and we actually even had a volunteer, volunteer for our foundation that had cystic fibrosis, who went on the lung transplant list, told he was going to get lungs. He flew out to Wisconsin, the lungs were compromised and he died in the hospital. So, this was all kind of part of our life. All along the way, we always tried to highlight the positive for Gunnar. We always made sure that he realized that he was not in this on his own, that we were all partners with him in dealing with this disease. The good news is that, 21 years ago tomorrow, Gunnar was born so he is now 21 and I meeting him at the Mets game, by the way, because he is home from college for Easter. He is a junior at Boston College. It is amazing to watch a kid of your own, specifically, grow up under the circumstances that he grew up under and never, ever, ever utilizing cystic fibrosis as an excuse. And because, I think, it was the healthy lifestyle that not only were we living in our own home, in terms of how we ate and all that other stuff but also for him outside of the home, getting involved healthy wise upstairs. Being a part of something.
I think the most proud moment of Gunnar’s entire life came when he was on the football team and he was the backup quarterback. He went to a small private school, so they had like 23 kids on the team. They actually, the last 7 of those 23, were kids like my son Gunnar, who might not have been great football players but they needed to put them in uniforms so they had enough guys to go out on the field and play. So, we would play a lot of the public schools in local Long Island area. A lot of those public schools were so much better, had so much better athletes. You know, a lot of our kids, were in the summertime instead of lifting weights and going to training camps and all that other stuff, like their high school coaches would demand of the. You know, a lot of our kids were on safari. They were on vacation in Paris, all that other stuff, and then September 1 came around and they all showed up for football practice.
So, Gunnar gets into a game. It’s late in the game and I mean their team is getting killed. It’s like 41 to nothing and he gets into the game as the backup quarterback, and you know, unfortunately he had my last name. He wore my number. There were a lot of expectations that go along for that, you know? When you have a dad that as an ex-NFL quarterback everybody thinks you are going to be the next coming of that. That’s not the case for Gunnar. Out of his teammates and all the kids in school knew all about him and new all about his story, maybe some of the other kids around him that he was playing against, didn’t. It really didn’t matter to Gunnar if they did or they didn’t, he was out there playing. This was when my wife started praying. Going, “Oh my god, please don’t get hit.” You know what I mean? I don’t know that she ever prayed when I played; I don’t understand why that is. So she was hoping that he didn’t get hit, of course, and he threw a touchdown pass of about 27 yards. ESPN 360 did a big thing around that touchdown and that accomplishment. Because for us, it really wasn’t about the touchdown pass, while that is a great accomplishment, and any person you would like to think would be able to do that if they played long enough. But the fact was that it was a defining moment in Gunnar’s life that he could actually go out on the football field with his teammates, after practicing through all of those days, fighting through all of the lung infections and the colds and the allergies that come along with cystic fibrosis. Not getting the right amount of sleep because of those things keeping you up and night and going other and for one brief moment and showing everybody that you can overcome something like cystic fibrosis and have success in game like football. That moment for all of us that know Gunnar and watched Gunnar grow up that was a moment that we all realized that kid is a special kid because of the way he lives his life.
Every parent understands this. I have a daughter who is a lunatic. I mean, she is healthy. I don’t know about mentally but she’s healthy. She’s a teenager right now and they are a little bit different anyway, you all know that. The fact is, that even she was crying that day. The emotion touched her as well. The aspect of a sibling with a brother or sister that has a disability like this and how that sibling grows up is really quite amazing. Then watching them, when we just threw Gunnar’s surprise 21st birthday party up at Boston College on Sunday night, was really quite amazing for us and our family. So my inspiration for staying healthy for being there with my kids and making sure that I can have the memories that every parent wants to have with their children is walking and breathing in front of me. That’s my son with CF. The interesting thing about all of this is that we have another special guest in here today. A lot of people may not know this; I know this because he is one of the greatest hockey players we have ever seen, in the greater New York area, and that is Bobbie Nystrom. Bobbie, if you just stand up and wave to everybody, in the back. Thank you Bobbie. Bobbie is a four time Stanley Cup award winner, you know, I didn’t even win the Super Bowl. This guy is a part of a championship team that is one of the greatest teams in the NHL.
The reason I single Bobbie out is because, in my old age now, when I retired at the age of 37 I had a moment in my life that was very difficult. My kids at that time were 6 and 7 years old and they started to understand exactly what Dad did. Dad was pretty cool. He was an NFL quarterback. Who wouldn’t want to be part of that? So my kids really started to understand. The last year of my career, might have been the one of the best years I had ever had, the last 7 games of my career. The Cincinnati Bengals are trying to get me to come back and play in 1997. I was just, “You know, I don’t know if I have the energy or desire to do it anymore.” But interestingly enough the year before my son Gunnar says, “You know Dad, I know you love the New York Rangers…” sorry Bobbie, I know you are an Islander, “but I know you love the New York Rangers, I want to play hockey dad.” I said, “Fine you can play hockey.” So he started playing hockey and then he told me they have father/son hockey on Sunday nights. You can play dad. You know, 5 year olds don’t understand that Dad is an NFL quarterback and he makes his living by protecting his body and doesn’t want to come out on the ice and expose yourself to these lunatics on Long Island and play hockey with them. I said, “I’m not doing that. I’m not doing that.” I said, “I will do that when I retire, Gun. I promise you I will do that when I retire.” So that 1997 season is over. I have a great run. I have an opportunity to go to ABC Monday Night Football on television or I have an opportunity to sign a 3-year contract extension with Bengals that would have taken my career from 14 years to 17 years. I decided after much thought that I think I want to spend more time at home, and this is a true story. I wanted to spend more time at home. I think the TV thing is going to be great for me. The money was a little bit similar so it wasn’t really about money. It was more about lifestyle and all that other stuff.
I remember driving my kids to school the night, or the morning after, I decided to quit football and go into broadcasting. My kids were in the back, and I said, “Kids, I got to tell you guys something. I am going to retire from football and I am going to go on TV.” They both sat silent for about 30 seconds and I could see the tears coming down their eyes because they had so much fun the last couple years of my career understanding what I was doing. As they were crying, they said, “What are you going to do, Dad?” I said, “ Well, I am going to go into Monday Night Football.” Gunner perked up and said, “ You’re going to play hockey now, too!” That’s how I got into hockey as a skater now. Here we are, literally, I would say 12 years later or so. I have my own hockey team here on Long Island. We’re called the Wasps. It is a double entendre for those of you out there who, uh, get that and Gunnar is my wingman. So Gunnar and I are on the same line. I am not as good as Bobbie and his line may choose to be but there is a lot of passion and there is a lot of love on that team because they understand, and all my teammates, understand what Gunnar is doing. I certainly understand what Gunnar is doing and the fact that I can be on the ice with him, skating and staying healthy myself is paramount to what I consider to be one of the greatest relationships that a father and son can ever have. We are on the same team and I am screaming at him the whole game. He gets very annoyed with me but that’s the way it should be when you are on the ice together.
The moral of the story, for me, as a parent and staying healthy and trying to live a healthy life and growing together with my son, is that I can never think of anything better in life than that. Every memory that I have, that I can actually still remember after getting hit in the head all of those years, involves him and the things that we do together. That has always been my story about how he as inspired me to be a much better person, a much healthier person, and try to also share those experiences in life. Because you know, we are kind of on a fast track but I always say this to people because they always ask me, “What is your goal in life?” My goal was try to win the Super Bowl and we came that close. A guy by the name of Joe Montana beat us right at the end of the game. I usually don’t like to say his name in front of people but it has taken me a while to get over it. He beat us right at the end but nowadays my goal is simple, and that is so my son can outlive me and my son can have the honor of being a father himself because any parent can attest to, there is nothing quite like the love between you and your children. That’s why and that is message I always talk about trying to stay healthy and trying to be on this earth as long as we possibly can.
With that I will say this, and I am going to tell you one story about kind of mainstreaming your kid who has disabilities that, I think, is a great story and that everyone in here can truly appreciate. Gunnar is in seventh grade and his sister, my daughter Sydney, is in sixth grade. Now, Sydney has blonde hair and blue eyes and has grown up to be quite the looker, if you will, and we all knew that was gong to happen. We knew that was going to be a curse that we were all going to have to deal with as she grew. So she basically was my eyes and ears about what was going on in grade school and junior high school with Gunnar. So, Gunnar comes home and he says, “Dad, I am going to go to a party. The eighth grade girls are having a party and they invited some of the seventh grade boys.” Now, a sixth grader in that situation, like Sydney was, was very upset that the sixth grade girls were not invited. So she came home and said, “Dad, you know this party that Gunnar is supposedly going to with the eighth grade girls?” I said, “Yes.” “You know what kind of party it is?” I said, “ Well, it’s a birthday party.” “Oh, no, Dad! It’s not a birthday party. It’s a spin the bottle party, Dad!” And I said, “Oh, really?” I’m thinking, “Man, my man Gun’s getting out there! I like that! Who’s the quarterback in the house now, baby?” So I said to Sydney, I said, “Sydney, whatever you do, whatever you do, do not tell your mother! Because your mother is not going to be thinking kindly of your brother going there and spin the bottle and not for all the reasons you’re thinking about. It’s all the bacterial infections that she’s afraid he is going to get! ‘Where have these girls been? Where have their mouths been? Do they have a cold?’ and all this other nonsense.” Because I am thinking as a dad “It’s all about mainstreaming. It’s all about getting in there and getting dirty a little bit and participating! Being a part of life!” So told Sydney and I tried to bribe her. I told her I would take her I would take her to Dylan’s Candy Bar if she didn’t tell mom. I said, “If you do tell mom, don’t tell her until we leave the building, until we leave the house.”
So Gunnar’s getting dressed. He’s all nice and everything and even my wife Cheryl said to Gunnar before we left he house, “Boy, you really dressed up nice for this party. What’s going on here?” “Oh, no it’s a birthday party don’t worry about it.” So I take him to the birthday party and literally, we are maybe a minute from the house, my phone is ringing. I look at the caller ID and it’s the house. Sydney told Cheryl what the hell we were doing. She couldn’t wait. Her vein was like sticking out. When a sixth grader has info like that it just becomes, “UH! I got to tell somebody!” So I drop Gunnar off without answering the phone. I got back now and meet Cheryl and Sydney at a friend’s house for a barbeque and Cheryl is like “Is this a spin the bottle party? Is that what it is? Did you know that before you left?” I said, “Well, Sydney told you didn’t she? Yeah, well she told me too but I told her not to tell you.” So now I got a whole other level of issues that I got to deal with. Which, by the way, is not healthy living. Let me just tell you.
So now I said, “ Listen, don’t worry about it. How bad can it be? I mean they are seventh and eighth grade. Don’t you remember when we were in seventh and eighth grade? I mean don’t worry about it.” She goes, “Yeah, but they have the internet now!” I said, “It’s going to be okay.” So about 4 hours goes by and I go back and pick up Gunnar. He comes flying out of the building. He’s got a big ole grin on his face. He’s happy. He got some action. So that’s basically, he got some action. It all worked out for him. He gets in the car and I said, “How’d it go?” “Oh Dad! It was a great party.” I said, “So what happened?” He said, “Well, not only were the eighth grade girls there but Dad, there were some seventh grade girls there.” Laura, his girlfriend at the time, was there, Laura was there. He best friend, Nina was there. They all were at the party. I said, “ Well, did you kiss Laura?” He said, “No, I didn’t kiss Laura.” I said, “Well you obviously kissed somebody. Who’d you kiss?” He said, “ Well, I kissed Nina, that’s Laura’s best friend.” I said, “Whatever you do, don’t tell your mother that! Because that will really get us all in trouble around here.”
So he ends up kind of telling me, “that I kissed Nina.” Blah, blah, blah and that was about it. Now this was still at the time when our kids were actually still sleeping in the same bed together. That’s how close they were and I knew that Gunnar would divulge information to Sydney and you knew Sydney was going to divulge information to me. So it was just a matter of time before I got all the scoop on the whole party. Of course, they come home. Gunnar’s done his treatments. He’s in bed now. Sydney goes in there. They are watching T.V. My wife was like, “What happened? What happened” I said, “Well, he kissed Nina.” And then my wife was like, “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Now I got to deal with this. What about their parents? What about their moms? And Laura’s mom is going to be hurt.” I said, “It’s not going to be that bad. Don’t worry. It didn’t sound that bad. Everything’s going to be fine.”
That morning we get up and we are downstairs having breakfast. Sydney comes down. That vein is sticking about again like this. I know she’s got info and she just wants to give me the info. She goes, “Dad, do you know about your son?” I said, “I know, I know. He went there and he kissed Nina.” “Oh, ho. No, no, no, no, no. Your son happens to be the kissing bandit. He was the only one that would kiss and he kissed like 12 girls!” That’s what you call, a chip off the old block, right there.
So the thing is, we can all laugh and I do laugh. I love my kids and I love everything about their quirkiness, their weirdness, they are so fun. They make me want to live. They make me want to be young again. They are my inspiration for living a healthy life, a great life, and a life filled with cherished memories. I know everyone in this room, much like myself; have had people in their lives that have gone way too early. When you think about that for a moment, you start to say to yourself, “Did they really take care of themselves?” Maybe the generation before mine, my dad, WWII, the greatest generation, the unselfish generation that basically lived life, you know, unselfishly and they were born through the Depression, they went through a couple world wars, two world wars and everything else along with it. At the end of their 80 years you say, where does it all go? Were they as active as they should have been through the last 20, 25 years of their life? Most of them aren’t. I think this generation is changing and I think it’s smart for all of us to take a really good look at ourselves and how we treat ourselves and how we treat our bodies and how long we want to live and active we want to be. I hope that you take something from my message because I know every single day I wake up I think about Gunnar’s fight. My message is always the same. It’s get up, go to work, take care of yourself and live to play and relive another memory for another day. Hopefully everyone in here will do the same. I wish you all the best and hopefully your conference works out well. Hopefully my Mets win today, which be would really good, for us suffering Met fans and I thank you for having me. Thank you very much.
